It turned out the getting the keys didn't mean moving in, not right away. There was too much work to be done up front to even consider bringing boxes over. It meant arriving with crowbars and carpet cutters.
It's my firm belief there is a factory in some remote industrial city in China, and its entire job is to churn out acres upon acres of beige/tan carpet that only the unimaginative or apartment landlords ever use. However, there must be a lot of unimaginative people and apartment landlords (and unimaginative apartment landlords) out there who think this stuff is da bomb. I bet there is enough manufactured to carpet the Earth---cheap, bad, and ugly--- about 8 times over annually. However, in my little corner of the planet, it was coming out. It was going to be a lot of back breaking work.
I, however, have discovered the best inexpensive tool ever for back breaking work. Ta-DAH: teenage son:
|You can pay him in sandwiches. Lots and lots of sandwiches.|
Those became the priorities that first week of ownership: getting that hella stink o' carpet out of the house, and making that room fit for habitation for children.
We had our triumphs that first day:
Underneath the living room carpet we found hardwood! And it was in good shape!
|I know how Howard Carter felt. Just a wee bit.|
|It felt like pulling off a scab. That good.|
|What do you mean, no sledgehammer?|
|The flash is for dramatic effect, not bad photography. (Straight face.)|
He cursed a lot, and as a Good Mom Person, I'm supposed to scold, but the panels were installed with what I believe are officially called "Long Ass Totally Unnecessary Pain in the Ass Nails," and it was difficult to pry out the stuff and leave the 50+ year old and fragile dry wall intact. I let him cuss.
Besides, I was on the other side of the room cussing myself, finding whatever flooring was under the animal sacrifice blue carpet (I know. I can't let it go.) We found more vintage vinyl composition tile, this time a sort of deep purplish brown, pictured here still coated in carpet glue scum:
|It's the new design color of the season. Glue Scum Green.|
|Gorgeous, but damaged. Sorta like Marilyn Monroe.|
It was totally, absolutely worth it.